2002-12-21 - 12:53 p.m.

Driving home this morning, hungover, this is what I heard in my car:

A new Christmas duet by a fat, only-as-of-late-openly-gay former talk show host and a stick thin, chest-pounding singer of sappy, sinking-ship-movie soundtrack songs.

While I quickly changed the station, it has dawned on me that, in the tradition of “Run Run Rudolph” and “Santa Baby,” we’ll all be hearing this song every December for the rest of eternity.

And I think I am going to need a shot of eggnog. On second thought, better make that a double.

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I don’t know about you guys, but I really hope Santa leaves one of these under the tree this year.

And finally, a question: do sexual fantasies count?

that was then - this is now