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no good movies, big ol' booties and ... tooties

2002-12-14 - 11:01 a.m.

Ok, you wanna know what really pisses me off?

This does.

It�s bad enough that I already live in a place that only plays �Die Another Day� every single day and that only kept �Almost Famous� in town for five days while a movie about football stayed in the same theater for an entire month. I�ve gotten used to driving to a town an hour away just to see movies like �Punch Drunk Love;� El Jefe and I have come to enjoy it. But then, when movies like �Adaptation,� come out and I loved the book that it�s kinda-sorta-but-not-really based on, and I love the writers and directors and the cast members, and I keep seeing movie clips and magazine articles and trailers for it everywhere I go, and I literally spend two weeks in anticipation of seeing it, I learn that not only is it not going to be at the Googleplex in the town an hour away from here, but that it won�t even be showing in this entire STATE until at least the middle of January. And mainly because of Oscar-related politics. That just sucks! From now on, I'm decidedly anti-Oscar.

And while I�m complaining about things Hollywood- and film-related, I just have to say, what�s up with Joan Cusack hawking cell phones, for Chrissakes??? Does that depress anyone else?

And finally, does anyone else find it slightly alarming that a bottle of J-Lo�s perfume costs as much as $50? I mean, come on. She should take a lesson from her much more reasonably-priced predecessor, don�tcha think? As the ever-perceptive Ewe Norker once said, it probably costs that much because of how much glass they have to use to mold the bottles into the shape of her booty.

--

Some truths about my Xmas shopping experiences last night:

1. Whenever I go Xmas shopping, I find myself picking out things I want for myself. El Jefe admitted this last night as well.

2. While picking out family gifts inside my own personal version of hell-- oops, I mean The Disney Store--I overheard a woman standing next to the Donald Duck mugs crying into her cell phone. Of course, it wasn�t like I really �overheard� her, now, was it? Because that would imply that I was eavesdropping, which is the opposite of the truth--if someone is standing in the middle of The Disney Store crying into a cell phone, she�s not too entirely worried about privacy, is she?

Anyway. This is what she said, loudly:

�I mean, I just don�t know if I�m ovulating right now or not.�

I looked at El Jefe with big eyes and said, �Did you just hear that?�

The woman, who was picking up pink pairs of fuzzy Cinderella slippers and reading the price tags as she talked, then declared �Well, but the thing is, the last time I was getting my period, I just didn�t feel like this.�

Oh, Snow White. Where are you when we need you?

that was then - this is now

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