Britney Burger with fries, please!
2003-11-26 - 1:48 p.m.
GOONIES ARE GOOD ENOUGH, MINUS THE 'R'
As I reported earlier, there is a new reason to live: a potential �Goonies� sequel is in the works.
But oh, God, �The Groonies� ??
"...The sequel would reunite the original cast... with a new bunch of suburban kids, [the director] said.
"The new group is called the Groonies, because they happen to live in a town where [Data], the Chinese kid, lives ... and he's got an electronics repair shop and all the kids hang out at his shop. He has this Chinese accent and he calls the Goonies the Groonies, and so the new kids call themselves the Groonies, until they get into a situation where the old Goonies have to save the new Groonies, or vice versa."
I'm getting nervous about this.
And wow, Chunk�s a lawyer?? (See the adult version of Chunk here. Not so Chunk-y anymore, heh heh heh.) Maybe he can throw around some legal weight and do something about this �Groonies� business. Jeesh.
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HUNGRY FOR HARDEE�S?
You better grow a set, then. (Balls, not boobs.)
This, today, from the �People� column in the newspaper:
�...In [a new] commercial for [Hardee�s-related] Carl�s Jr. fast-food restaurants, a pajama clad [Hugh] Hefner is surrounded by beautiful women, philosophizing about how men require variety--just before he bites into a bacon cheeseburger. He adds that he loves bacon cheeseburgers, but wouldn�t have them for dinner every night, touting the array of choices at Carl�s Jr.
....��We�re appealing to an audience of young, hungry guys who expect a quality product but want to have something different from time to time,� Andrew Puzder, CEO of CKE Restaurants, Inc., which operates Carl�s Jr., said. �Hefner appeals to our target audience and credibly appeals to our message of variety.�
Gee, and I thought those Hardee�s commercials were insulting!
(You know the ones: �I�m a rough-necked farmin� man, and when I git done ropin� in my cattle, I like to drive on in to town in my rusty ol� pickup and get me one�a them juicy Thickburgers, made from �mongst one�a my own cattle! Yee haw!� or, almost even worse, �I�m just the sweetest ol� Bessy Lou there ever was, and if you stop on in to Hardee�s this mornin�, I�ll fix you up a biscuit real nice.� I wonder how that lady gets herself to hundreds of Hardee�s franchises every morning before sunrise? She must be like Santa: everywhere at once!)
Now that �young, hungry guys� who equate women with meat are apparently the target audience for Hardee�s and Carl�s Jr., what�s next, an ad for the Britney Burger? Imagine the oh-so-pensive jingle: �I�m not a Monster Burger�not yet a Thickburger��
I�m glad the young hungry men who eat at Hardee�s and Carl�s Jr. (surely the most awkwardly-apostrophe'd franchise in the country) have sexual appetites that require as much variety as Carl�s Jr. has to offer. After all, if it has a menu anything like Hardee�s, there�s really only one thing for sale.
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Did you know there's a new Tim Burton movie coming out? I can't wait--I love Tim Burton! (I also love the reader�s �review� on the left hand side: �I haven�t seen this movie yet. The only cool thing about it is that Pearl Jam has a song on the soundtrack." Wow! Great insight. I see a future here.)
