Senders of in-box porn: please, respect your elders!
2003-01-27 - 9:25 p.m.
WELCOME TO TORNADO ALI
TODAY�S SERMON: YOU�VE GOT (dirty, filthy, rotten) MAIL
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Okay, so here�s a disturbing thought.
You know how you keep getting those e-mails in your hotmail account from places like �[email protected]?�
I just got my second one today--regardless of the fact that I am neither a man seeking to have his member enlarged nor a girl who asked that her name be added to the penis-pump company�s exclusive mailing list. Of course this business of getting trashy e-mails you didn�t ask for is nothing new, but today it made me realize something for the first time.
The thing that just struck me, as I hastily deleted the penis-enlarging promise, was that these messages are probably landing in the in-boxes of many people who should not be seeing them. No, no, I am not thinking of children. I�m thinking of my 81-year-old grandpa, and my 80-year old grandmother, who, despite their octogenarian status, both have e-mail accounts.
I really don�t like the thought of my grandpa walking to his computer with his cane, logging on, and seeing what Mimi Smartypants once said she saw in her in-box: a message from PUMP CUNT.com.
This leads me to think about how Grandma and Grandpa used to be big CBS watchers. (Dave Letterman�s joke about CBS being programming for old people ain�t too far off the mark--that�s why it�s funny, see?)
Anyway a few years back when things like �Survivor� and �Big Brother� started clogging up the airwaves, I would suddenly think of my grandparents back home sitting in their La-Z-Boys, munching popcorn and settling in to watch their nightly programs, and then tuning in to see a bunch of people jiggling in their bikini tops and pissing on each other.
Doesn�t that almost make you wish we were back in Laura Ingalls� time when Pa played the fiddle after supper and everybody danced? Or to a time when families crowded around the radio for evening entertainment? A time when people actually wrote tangible letters, rather than electrified messages that allowed the existence of things like �PUMPCUNT.com� to enter our collective conscience?
Or maybe that�s just me, and you�re enjoying your �Joe Millionaire� and �Meet My Parents� just fine, thank you very much.
Or maybe I�m nothing but a big hypocrite, because I just found out that I missed this one tonight, and I�m so, so pissed.
