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no good movies, big ol' booties and ... tooties

2002-12-14 - 11:01 a.m.

Ok, you wanna know what really pisses me off?

This does.

It�s bad enough that I already live in a place that only plays �Die Another Day� every single day and that only kept �Almost Famous� in town for five days while a movie about football stayed in the same theater for an entire month. I�ve gotten used to driving to a town an hour away just to see movies like �Punch Drunk Love;� El Jefe and I have come to enjoy it. But then, when movies like �Adaptation,� come out and I loved the book that it�s kinda-sorta-but-not-really based on, and I love the writers and directors and the cast members, and I keep seeing movie clips and magazine articles and trailers for it everywhere I go, and I literally spend two weeks in anticipation of seeing it, I learn that not only is it not going to be at the Googleplex in the town an hour away from here, but that it won�t even be showing in this entire STATE until at least the middle of January. And mainly because of Oscar-related politics. That just sucks! From now on, I'm decidedly anti-Oscar.

And while I�m complaining about things Hollywood- and film-related, I just have to say, what�s up with Joan Cusack hawking cell phones, for Chrissakes??? Does that depress anyone else?

And finally, does anyone else find it slightly alarming that a bottle of J-Lo�s perfume costs as much as $50? I mean, come on. She should take a lesson from her much more reasonably-priced predecessor, don�tcha think? As the ever-perceptive Ewe Norker once said, it probably costs that much because of how much glass they have to use to mold the bottles into the shape of her booty.


Some truths about my Xmas shopping experiences last night:

1. Whenever I go Xmas shopping, I find myself picking out things I want for myself. El Jefe admitted this last night as well.

2. While picking out family gifts inside my own personal version of hell-- oops, I mean The Disney Store--I overheard a woman standing next to the Donald Duck mugs crying into her cell phone. Of course, it wasn�t like I really �overheard� her, now, was it? Because that would imply that I was eavesdropping, which is the opposite of the truth--if someone is standing in the middle of The Disney Store crying into a cell phone, she�s not too entirely worried about privacy, is she?

Anyway. This is what she said, loudly:

�I mean, I just don�t know if I�m ovulating right now or not.�

I looked at El Jefe with big eyes and said, �Did you just hear that?�

The woman, who was picking up pink pairs of fuzzy Cinderella slippers and reading the price tags as she talked, then declared �Well, but the thing is, the last time I was getting my period, I just didn�t feel like this.�

Oh, Snow White. Where are you when we need you?

that was then - this is now

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