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...on Gay Home Tours and the Existence of God...

2002-12-07 - 11:57 a.m.

First thought for the day:

If you grew up on a farm, and if your little house out on the prairie stood all alone with no neighboring homes for miles, and if your parents still live in that little house out on the prairie, it�s probably not a good idea for you to sit at home alone at night reading this. Because if you do, it just might scare the shit out of you.


Second thought for the day:

If you happen to be the kind of person who gets motion sick on a merry-go-round, it�s probably not a good idea for you to go to one of these.

And, if you often find yourself thinking that you might possibly need to join this group,

or, you sometimes worry that you might even be one of these, but then you go see a 3D movie about outer space narrated by a movie star who, as of late, creeps you out, and it�s so incredible it makes you find yourself thinking there must be a God, is that a bad thing?


Third thought for the day:

Just like in this great movie, I am being woken up in the middle of the night because my neighbors� Xmas lights are shining into my own windows.

We have now reached that lovely time of year when people in The G Spot (the town in which I live) conduct one of their most bizarre customs: the Tour of Homes. In which the snooty-bo-booties in town open up their large Victorian homes for all snot-nosed members of the public to traipse through, comment on, and tell all their neighbors about. In which the newspaper devotes whole pages to descriptions of each one of these homes. In which homeowners make themselves easily identifiable as the rich people in town.

Could someone, some diaryland reader out there who happens to live somewhere even remotely close to a coast, tell me if this is just a Midwestern thing?

Here are the funniest things I know about Tours of Homes. In my hometown, (which is much, much smaller than The G Spot but still somehow has enough rich homeowners who like to show off their stuff), one lady asked all the people coming into her home to remove their shoes before they entered. And in my hometown at Xmastime, it ain�t exactly dry and balmy outside. And would you believe it? They all happily de-booted and stood stocking feet in slush puddles in order to gain entry and get a good look at all of this woman�s antique salt shakers.

But better yet. Last year, as is tradition, the ad for the Tour of Homes in the newspaper showed thumbnail prints of all the homes to be shown, with the homeowners� names listed underneath. But this time there was a little something that stirred up a great commotion: one of the homes was owned by two men. The Gay Tour of Homes!! I love it!


And finally, the last thought for the day: does anyone else think this bandshould be getting as much (or more) attention than all the bands that are supposedly bringing rock and roll back? Because I do. They make the Vines look like ninnies.

that was then - this is now

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