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Lucinda Williams--now SHE really thinks outside the bun!

2003-01-21 - 11:05 p.m.

How utterly inspiring: this �interview� with Lucinda Williams, the woman I worship. I know, I know, thou shalt not worship false gods and all that, but please, please, pretty please, can�t I just have this one little false god? If you let me have this one, I promise not to covet my neighbor�s Christmas decorations (which are still up) or lust after anyone�s wife.

But back to the inspiration thing. First of all there is Lucinda�s comment about complacency that spoke to me like a personal admonition. And then I read about how Neko Case has managed to put out three albums, play in a bunch of musical combinations like The New Pornographers and the Corn Sisters, and oh yeah, by the way, get a bachelor�s degree in the process--only a year before I got mine.

Am I comparing myself to Neko Case and Lucinda Williams, you might be asking?

Am I even a songwriter, for fuck�s sake?

I think it�s needless to say the answer is no.

But am I forever playing the oh-my-God-I�m- already-this-old-and-what-have-I-done-with-my-life- and-look-how-Zadie-Smith-is-like-my-age-and-already-a-big-time-novelist- and-I-sometimes-don�t-even-know-where-to-put-a-period-in-relation-to-parenthesis game?

You bet your ass I am.

I worry all the time about being lazy and complacent and not getting anything done, so much so that while Neko Case was out recording three albums and playing in a shitload of bands and getting her BFA.... I was sitting on the sofa and worrying about not getting anything done. Again, not that I�m a gifted songwriter or anything, but you know, this is supposed to be a meditation on how the dreams you had for yourself as a kid and the way you are turning out as an adult somehow aren�t quite matching up the way you thought they would. And about how the reason they�re not matching up is actually because you�re not trying hard enough, not branching out enough, not thinking outside the box enough.

Goddamn, I wish there wasn�t a Taco Bell commercial that says �Think outside the bun,� because now whenever someone uses that stupid phrase, �think outside the box,� like in a meeting or like I just did in my own writing, I hear that Taco Bell gong and wish it was time for lunch.

that was then - this is now

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